In Raw & Real Episode no 2, Shwetabh brings out an important, thought provoking question for Prakhar & Vedant. What is the difference between Pride and Self respect. Let’s see how the discussion went and I’ll try to provide the best possible explanation of it.
Pride Vs Self Respect - What's The Difference
Pride, Ego and self respect. These terms are often misinterpreted as they sound very similar but in reality, their meanings are totally different.
According to Prakhar, Self respect is where you can accept criticism without any offense. For example, if someone disagrees with your thoughts/beliefs on some topic, you should be able to take that disagreement gracefully and not personally at all.
And pride is when you are vulnerable to such disagreements. That's why we often hear statements like "someone's pride was hurt". If that someone had self respect, pride wouldn't have come into the picture.
Even though prakhar's view is correct about the thin line between pride and self respect, it didn't cover all aspects of the topic yet.
Now, let's talk about Vedant 's take on this. Vedant agrees with prakhar's view on self respect where one should be open to criticism & feedback. On the other hand, pride is something which comes from achievements, family, relationships, etc.
And ego is basically an inflated version of the pride.
Here, Vedant touched important points while talking about pride like achievements.
Now it's time for shwetabh, which clears all the ambiguity between these two terms.
What Are We Proud Of ?
We've been using this term proud since our school times. I am proud of my country, I'm proud of my city or I'm proud of my caste/religion.
For pride, you don't necessarily need a reason. For example, you'll meet a lot of people who feel so much pride in their caste. They consider it as a superiority factor.
So, most of the time there's no basis for pride. One can feel proud about anything and for any reason.
What is Self Respect?
But self respect is mostly evidence based. Just simply breakdown the term, it's nothing but respecting yourself. And to do that or feel the respect for yourself, you need evidence, facts.
You feel respect towards someone when you get to know who they are, what they have done or said. It's the same for self respect, just replace that someone with yourself.
Like, everyday you plan to sleep early in the night but end up scrolling on social media till 2am and then regret it in the morning. This means you broke your own promise so you won't respect yourself here. But if you stick to your own words/rules that will lead to a better you, then automatically you'll start building self respect.
Later prakhar added another point which is Self respect is achieved when you stay congruent with your beliefs even if it's causing you discomfort.
For ex: Exercising every day is painful but if you keep this promise to yourself, it will build self respect.
How To Build Self Respect
Now, let's see how self respect can be built step by step. Here I'll be elaborating on points mentioned in the podcast in my words.
1. Define "Self " - You Are Nation
If you've read The rudest book ever, you must be knowing this already. To take responsibility for yourself & improve your life, you need to look at yourself as a nation.
A Nation has its defined set of rules, laws and amendments in the constitution which ensures the overall stability of it. Similarly each individual needs to define a set of rules, laws and amendments in their life that aligns with their own truth.
Now, what I mean by truth is everyone needs to introspect and find out what is that they truly expect from their life. No, it's not what your role model wanted to achieve in life or the neighbor who keeps flaunting their new car. You must find out what it is that you actually want from life & yourself.
So, the first step is knowing yourself by introspection and defining yourself.
2. Form Rules & Stick To Them
Once you're done with defining yourself, it's time to form rules that will get you to your true self, your true purpose and happiness, peace, blah balh..
You'll have a different set of rules for different aspects of your life such as Education, Fitness, Relationships, Money, etc.
Let me give you an example where my goal is to get fit and how rules need to be formed.
I know I've gained weight in the past few months and it's affecting various areas of my life such as productivity, mental health, energy and even creativity. And the solution is simple: I make a set of rules like Exercising for an hr daily or going out and cycling every evening and push my body harder than the previous day.
If I fail to follow my own rules after a certain day, I'll start disrespecting myself. With every passing day things will get worse. I'll start having a very negative & harsh self talk which will destroy my self image.
But imagine, I'm consistently working out, cycling on mountains, burning calories until I faint.. Maybe too much, but you get the point. How amazing that would make me feel about myself right? (I know because I've done this before)
So, this is how you build self respect when you first get to know who you are, what you want and do things in accordance with that.
3. Self Control
Now, sticking to any kind of rules or promises isn't as easy as it sounds. We need a strong control over our inherent urge to go against what's enforced.
A Nation doesn't run smoothly and follow everything that's mentioned in its constitution without any controlling authority. It needs the Government, Police force and other authorities that ensures the rules set are being followed.
For us, humans, this authority is basically self control. It's what will keep us on the right track that we had decided to travel when the rules were set. Without self control nobody will be able to live their desired life.
Because distractions are everywhere and it's so easy to lose track and commit crimes and doom our own nations. (Don't take this literally)
Like you have an exam scheduled next week but since a few months you've been so addicted to watching movies that it's almost impossible to study, even for 30 minutes straight. Although your primary goal has always been to crack this exam, you can't control but waste time.
This is why self control plays an important role in building yourself.
To conclude the debate of Pride Vs Self respect, I would say that Pride is mostly baseless and less factual as compared to self respect.
And self respect is something evidence based and dependent on "self" rather than others. It is defined by self not others.
Sumeet Manohare aka Accidental Blogger is an Engineering graduate and a passionate
Blogger. He writes his heart out on multiple topics like Relationships, Self Improvement,
Mental Health, Poetry and Photography. Sumeet has published more than 200+ Blog posts in the last 2 years and continues to create content continuously. Subscribe to his blog www.writingmyheartout.com to read more insightful and helpful content from him. Also check him out on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.